1st April

My Darling David,

The bedside clock tells me that it is 3.13am and I can't sleep.

I have tried counting sheep, even reading for a while but my mind keeps telling me that it is now nearly 11 hours since I first thought I would hear you pull into the driveway and come through the front door.

Same time every day.

11 hours that I have paced the floor and waited.

And now I sit in our bed, trying to work out why you haven't come home.

Where are you my love?

Why haven't you called?

Or returned my calls?

So many times now I have tried to call you tonight and it just goes to voice mail.
And no text since lunch time.

"I love you"
"I love you more"

You should be here, beside me, all sprawled out, tangled in the sheets, your soft snoring both annoying and yet comforting.
But the space beside me is empty.

And I don't know why.

When you didn't answer my calls, I just thought maybe your phone was dead.  So we had dinner, and your plate is in the fridge..waiting for you.

The children and I did the dishes.  Typical teenagers, so wrapped up in their own world didn't really notice that you had missed dinner.
James did ask where you were, but when Katy assumed that you were at a meeting, I just let it go.

I rang Gary, just in case you had gone down the club, and Sue and Paul.
And then I rang your Mother.

I thought for a moment you might have planned to go and finally fix that sticking door of hers, but when she told me that you hadn't been by,  I didn't know what to say, so I lied and told her that I heard you car pull up just then.

Every car in the street has had me at the window.  Every noise has made me jump.

But the phone is silent.  I have it plugged in here, next to the bed.  I can't risk it going flat.

Where are you David?  This isn't like you.

This bed is too empty.  Our room too quiet.

I can't sleep without you.

Please come home.