Everything's Changed

I've been staring at a blank screen for what seems like days...

I guess you won't be coming home.

They found your body.

I thought I would have more of a reaction than I have. I guess, somewhere deep down, I knew. When I saw your father's car pull in the drive, I knew.  Apparently he was your emergency contact in your wallet.  No one seems to know what happened. Your wallet was with you, full of your cards - and even some cash... Your ID.  Doesn't look like you were robbed. There's no sign that you fought anyone off... No sign of a struggle.

 You're just...

Dead.

They'll do an autopsy of course.  Perhaps that will tell.  Why you were two towns over on some random back road is anyone's guess.  How you got there while your car went for a swim here is yet another unknown.

And it seems you were planning this.  Well, maybe not dying, but your whole escape seems to be planned out.  James brought me the laptop today - finally.  I knew there was something he wasn't telling me.  It looks like you'd planned this trip.  I thought maybe your wallet was stolen and someone else was responsible for the hotel and all that, but it was you...

Why???

Where were you going?  Why were you leaving us?

I just don't understand any of it.

James has his theories, but he's not saying anything. At least it's not Katy's wild conspiracies come to life, I guess.  He told me, "just give me a few days, Mom..."
Whatever that means. He won't let me have the laptop. I wonder what ELSE he's not telling me...

Katy won't come out of her room.  Brian's here with her but all she seems to do is sleep.  He's really been the glue holding us together lately.  James is always gone.  You're gone. And everything has changed...

I guess I need to figure out a funeral.  I guess I don't have to worry about life insurance covering the mortgage now.

This seems like such a grande finale, but there is still so much unanswered. I still feel like you're not really gone. I can't explain it.

But so many calls to make. So much to do.

Just...

...wow.

You really are dead.